To My Fellow Men – We Need to Talk About This
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Hi, how are you doing?
Hey, I’m fine!
This is the usual start and end of most of our conversations; it often doesn’t go beyond that point. However, according to Gallup, the depression rate in 2023 reached a record high of 29.0%, nearly 10 percentage points higher than in 2015, when Gallup started collecting this data (https://news.gallup.com/poll/505745/depression-rates-reach-new-highs.aspx).
We have to stop saying we’re “fine” when we’re not.
According to the Mayo Clinic, twice as many women suffer from depression than men, however, men and women may present different symptoms and, in the case of men, it might not always be as obvious. It is less obvious, but unfortunately, still quite destructive. Men’s depression is often expressed as anger, irritability, loss of interest in work, family, hobbies, and substance use.
We have to stop self-medicating. That’s not coping.
““…men who internalized that stigma were less likely to get help for their psychological issues and more likely to face challenges and “a heightened risk for severe mental illness.””
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA) 2008 National Survey of Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), “young adult men 18 to 25 years of age are also more likely to drink alcohol (64.3 percent) than their female counterparts (58.0 percent) (SAMHSA 2009). Binge drinking (a pattern of alcohol use that is more likely to result in alcohol-related problems) is likewise more prevalent among men. An earlier NSDUH study (SAMHSA 2005) indicated more than twice the number of men reported binge drinking than women (32.9% v 14.7%). https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/sma14-4736.pdf
One of the reasons depression has such a devastating effect on men is because of the idealization of our current society’s concept of “masculinity” that demands an image of ”strength”, often equaling the repression of emotions perceived as “weakness”. Men not only have high expectations for their personal definitions of masculinity but are also acutely perceptive of how they think society expects them to act. More often than not, men are expected, to “man Up”, which translates into not only not showing this perceived “weakness”, but moreover, not admitting to it, and, as a result, making unhealthy coping choices including self-medication and not seeking the necessary help
According to Medical News Today: “In 2022, the American Journal of Public Health published a review of studies dealing with the societal stigma surrounding mental illness. It found that men who internalized that stigma were less likely to get help for their psychological issues and more likely to face challenges and “a heightened risk for severe mental illness.”
We have to stop dying.
As a direct consequence of this erroneous vision of male societal roles men are more likely to die by suicide than women and use more fatal forms of suicide attempts than females do. This is to say, that most men attempt against their life as the final response to a process of self-repression that they feel is no longer tolerable and for which they find no other satisfactory resource.
“If we want to stop losing lives to depression, it is paramount that we—as a society—need to demonstrate the support and understanding that we all feel deep emotions It is time to construct a better concept of masculinity in which strength is seen as embracing the challenges of life and eliminating the stigma of asking for help when needed.”
It is necessary to put an end to the “culture of silence” among men. Breaking that stigma will take real strength for men to open themselves up to processing their feelings and sharing them with those who are close to them. It will also require reassurance from their loved ones that men are not alone in their suffering.
If we want to stop losing lives to depression, it is paramount that we--as a society--need to demonstrate the support and understanding that we all feel deep emotions It is time to construct a better concept of masculinity in which strength is seen as embracing the challenges of life and eliminating the stigma of asking for help when needed.
We have to reach out.
To those fellow men who suffer in silence, allow yourself to challenge the male culture of silence and open yourself up to the many resources available to help you rise above depression.
Talk to someone close to you.
Try therapy.
Visit ManTherapy
Call 988 for anonymous mental health support. You will be a better person for yourself and for your loved ones thanks to it.
You are not alone!